Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
