Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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