i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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