so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
