He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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