I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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