I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize