We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
