Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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