U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize