He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
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I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
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Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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