So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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