when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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