brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
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