I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
