Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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