Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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