Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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