We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I love you. Go after that dick
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
