you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
