She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize