Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
