Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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