i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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