Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
This baby is an asshole
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
