god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
