this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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