even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Boobs speak an international language.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
