Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
