Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
