i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
