Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
