I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
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And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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