Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
