I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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