mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
