He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize