Is it normal to miss your booty call?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
