You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
