no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
