Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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