But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
