You work out of a Hotel?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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