i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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