So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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