the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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