this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he puts the penis in happiness.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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