One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
