I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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