You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
