they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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