don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
