He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Porn is love you can see.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
