And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
