i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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