He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
