I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
