So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm both gender and math confused
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
