I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
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I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
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I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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