some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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