Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
