So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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