i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
