It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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