when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
