chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
