Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
