the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
