Even the bartender felt bad for me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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