remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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