I feel like I'm in dance class right now
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Randomize
