You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
