so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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