It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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