just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
